I’ll tell this tale the age old way
Beginning with a rhyme
Setting it in times long past
‘Once upon a time’
 
A Gentleman, while out one day
Was walking down a lane
A pleasant, rural, tranquil road
He’d come this way again
 
Through the rolling countryside
He strode in hurried gait
For he did not know the time
And feared that he’d be late
 
A farmer in a field he passed
Who’d know his rural law
In classic pose upon the gate
A–chewing at a straw
 
He doffed his hat and said “Good day”
Though Farmer Giles looked dour
“It seems, alas, I’ve lost my watch”
“Could you tell me the hour?”
 
“Aye, Sir”, he said, “now that I can”
“If you’ll stand there and wait”
With that he slowly turned around
And strode fast from the gate
 
Straight up the sloping field he trod
Sure footed, striding free
And came up to a placid cow
That stood immovably
 
Along her side the farmer passed
Then bent and cupped his hand
And gently raised her udder up
An udder full and grand
 
He slowly moved it up and down
While looking carefully
And then he came back to the gate
And said quite forcefully
 
“‘Tis half past eight, so not so late”
“So best be on your way”
“Why thank you very much my man”
He said and strode away
 
Such knowledge as old Giles showed
He’d never seen before
He wondered at the country folk
And all the farmers’ lore
 
“How could old Giles there tell the time”
“By feeling his old cow?”
And then he saw the village clock
The time was right, but how?
 
Returning with his business done
The farmer leaned there still
Though now his straw was almost gone
He’d nearly had his fill
 
“Hello again” our walker said
To Giles upon his gate
“I’ve been delayed upon my way”
“I wonder, is it late?”
 
“Oh I can tell thee, never fear”
The farmer said and smiled
And strode to where his cow still stood
So placid, staid and mild
 
Once more he bent and gently reached
And lifted up her milk
And peered at it so tenderly
As if it were of silk
 
What did he see? What could he feel?
And why was that the spot?
What was it that that cow revealed
That udder cows did not
 
Old Giles he came back to the gate
And then resumed his pose
“The time”, he said, “is five past six”
“Or nearly so Tha’ knows”
 
Our Gentleman was sore perplexed
He thought himself quite bright
To get the hour was possible
But five past? Was that right?
 
“How can you be quite so exact?”
“From that one certain cow?”
“For all you did was walk across”
“And feel her udder. How?”
 
“Now you’re in business, I am too”
“We both know what we’re at”
“You try to keep your margins lean”
“While I feed mine up fat”
 
“You know your place and I know mine”
“And each must know his stock”
“And when I lift her udder up”
“I see the village clock”